Division 1 > Match Card
Home Player Away Player Games Score
11-5 11-9 11-8 1-0
11-2 11-7 11-1 1-0
11-4 11-1 11-6 1-0
11-4 12-10 11-6 1-0
11-4 11-6 11-1 1-0
11-2 11-7 11-5 1-0
11-4 11-7 11-5 1-0
11-3 11-4 11-2 1-0
11-8 11-4 11-3 1-0
11-6 13-11 11-6 1-0
Submitted By: David Unwin :: Approved By: David Unwin :: Completed By: David Unwin 10 - 0

Match Report

RAP, GARAGE AND HIP-HOP? OH YES PLEASE!

THE BEET FACTORY BEAT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON!

The three Romans warriors parked their chariots up, arriving in good spirits and importantly in good time (unlike the Viking lads for their home game this week) at Puffs Camp Sugar, with Kin in particular positively raring to get going, pacing around the venue with all the grace of a model on a catwalk, eager to strut his stuff and ready to employ ‘Moves like Jagger’ as the song goes.

Talking of music, this was possibly the first match ever to be played in the Bury League accompanied by a mixture of rap, garage and hip-hop being fed through the phalanx of speakers all around the hall. Efforts to turn the speakers off proved fruitless, with our club manager Stella unable to get rid of or even explain the sudden appearance of the mystery music mix - Smooth Radio this was definitely not!

Note to myself at this point, perhaps I should wear my glasses off the table more often as I swear Robin and John look just like twins, proper peas in a pod…maybe they were separated at birth and don’t know it I guess, but the similarity is freakishly uncanny!

So it came to be that Kin, the ageless Peter Pan of ping, and ageing Bob locked horns in the opening game. Not having played him before, Bob wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but it soon became pretty evident that Kin was more akin to a Don Quixote windmill than the slick-moving Jagger - with the ball appearing at great speed from all angles, arms and legs going in all directions as Kin launched himself repeatedly into virtual orbit on each shot- which is all well and good on a going day, but definitely not gainst a wily old weasel like Bob, who employs more spin than the dancing queen herself at a Tory party conference. Sadly for Kin, these rush tactics were never going to bear fruit and his ping boat was soon drifting rudderless down upon the Swanee River as the song goes, resulting in the first straight sets victory of the night.

Next up John took on Dom, the former possibly one of the most unorthodox players ever to play in BSE, in stark contrast the latter possibly being the most orthodox ever. Orthodox won the day comfortably and looking in top form - it was all over in a jiffy, straights again with a remix of a Dire Straits classic Romeo & Juliet belting out over the airways above us all. That little Shakey tale didn’t end well for all concerned and it wasn’t looking good for our Roman visitors here either, even at this early stage...

Now I could go on at this point and describe the next hour or so, but I probably shouldn’t, it would be both heartless and frankly pointless - all I will say is that the straight sets continued unabated for the rest of a short but nevertheless enjoyable and pretty eventful evening, with Ben in particular looking every inch a dude, all 77 of them from his head to his twinkle toes. Now be warned players, this guy really CAN do the moves like Jagger, the former Welsh junior international winning with the minimum of fuss with a superb mixture of defence and attack. Robin, who had almost landed a memorable win over Gen Sec James last week, struggled to keep tabs on the lanky but very mobile Puff, who simply oozes class on the table and looks as fit as a butcher’s dog.

Fair play to the Romans, it’s not easy to bridge the divide between div 1 and div 2, and there will be easier nights ahead for them, of that I am certain. But with genuine good grace, they congratulated us on the 30-0 whitewash gained, before the very likeable Kin headed stage left unsurprisingly at great speed, ready to tilt at his next windmill, salmon-style, no doubt shooting for the moon on the River Lark with his pal Tinkerbell.

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